What Did You Compromise When You Married? (Writer's Workshop)

I basically covered this in a post I did on our wedding anniversary in 2008 so am cheating a bit by using it today for this prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Here is the link to 13 Changes In Our Life Since Marriage. I hope you like it.

For more about us, you can click that "About Us" tab at the top where I list other posts about our courtship, relationship and marriage if you are interested to learning more. According to Kathy at the Junk Drawer, she said we have "one of the happiest marriages in the blogosphere!" in response to this comment I left on her "Confusing Terms Of Endearment" Post:

I usually call my husband “Honey Bunny.” He calls me “Silly Goose” and Mrs. Wonderful (to which I respond “because I’m married to Mr. Wonderful). I sometimes call him “Honey Bear” too. He especially likes when I call him “Super Duper Honey Bear.

I don't know about that, but it made me feel good!

6 Things I Learned in Week 12 of 2009

Great Ideas

I found a whole list of activity suggestions to keep the romance alive for us old married couples--or those in a dating relationship at The Zoo Crew. The blogger there went to a marriage retreat and is sharing things she learned there on her blog. Some of the things listed that we will try include eating at a new restaurant, having breakfast at the part, making a list of places we'd like to go, maybe learn a new activity together, look at our videos or photo albums and a whole lot more. I bookmarked this list so I could find it again. I also printed it out so we can mark the things we want to do! click here to go to the list.

Technology

Remember Topps baseball cards? Now they come in 3-D. The players actually come to life! Check out the video at ScienceJunkies.com. This blog has lots of interesting things.

Cats and Dogs

On the Misadventures of Me blog, I found a story about a guy who hated cats but did a favor for his son and took care of his cat which had kittens. Naturally he became attached to them but had to move from his condo so bought a trailer on a large piece of land and took in more and more cats which now has become Caboodle Ranch, a cat sanctuary. He is asking for donations for a fence to keep out the coyotes. He also has a blog at A Day At The Ranch. (My dad would have liked this guy and I'm sure would have made a donation!)

Companion dogs are used to help children with allergies and seizures and people with bipolar disorder, wounded veterans and people with psychiatric or memory conditions stay stable and safe. I found this out from an article in USA TODAY on March 25, 2009 titled "4 Paws and a tail at your service." Two sites that were given were www.angelservicedogs.com and www.cci.org(Canine Companions for Independence).

Love Language Test

Thanks to Firefly 1824 in the Women Speak Shelfari discussion group, I found the "Love Language Test." I was having a hard time determining my primary language so this test helped. Go to http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp to take the short quiz and find out your primary love language. (Be sure to let your spouse know!)

Cold Remedy

At Spicy Bugz this week I found out that drinking hot lemonade (the kind made with real lemons) will help you feel better when you have a cold! Click here to see the entire post and let her know if you ever heard of this before!

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The Five Love Languages is a practical book for improving one’s marriage. It points out that different things are more meaningful than others when it comes to expressing love but they are different for different people. Loving acts can fall into the following five basic categories:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• acts of service
• gifts
• physical touch

Once you determine what your mate’s primary love language is, you can work at keeping them feeling loved more effectively. It’s also good to determine your own primary love language and let your mate know. Several things I plan to implement after reading this book are:

1. Focus on encouraging, complimenting and using kind words every day when speaking to my husband.


2. Have a sharing time each day where we each share three things that happened to us that day and how we feel about them.


3. Make a list of things we want to do together and do at least two per month.


4. Plan a new event with strong memory potential and do it this year.


5. Play “fill your tank” game. Ask spouse three times a week how full his love tank is on range of 0-10 and ask what I can do to fill it up today.

I had a hard time determining my primary love language because really my husband does all these things so I feel very loved. Here is a quiz you can take to help determine which one is most meaningful to you. By answering some concrete questions, for my physical touch was definitely my primary language and three of the others were tie. I was also surprised to find out that Gerard's primary love language is quality time. Guess I'll have to get off the computer earlier in the evenings!

Want to find out what your primary love language is and more importantly, your mate's? Click here to take the quiz.

Are You In Love? Find Out if You Love Your Partner For Real

The title of this little checklist caught my eye and although I already know I love my husband very much, I was curious as to what this little quiz would say so I took it. It's actually a great list of specific things we can do to improve our relationships. Here is what it said about me:

Your Love Score Is: 85

It's truly love. You have an amazing partner and a wonderful relationship. Your relationship isn't perfect, but you know how to work with each other to make it better. You both listen to one another, give freely, and do your best to make things work. While you have ups and downs like any other couple, you're good at getting through the bad times together. And although you find it easy to love your partner, you understand that lasting love doesn't come easily. You are both willing to give this relationship everything you have. And luckily, that's all it takes to make it work. Why not take this little short quiz and see what it says about you?

Are You in Love?

Missing My Cat Friends

We get so attached to our pets. These are the cats I came to know and love and still think about and miss:

My Dad's cats My dad took fed and took care of the cats who came by his house. Some he let inside but always fed the outdoor ones as well. He spent more money on cat food and litter than he did on food for himself. He built a kitty motel for the strays in the neighborhood to give them shelter and food and even heat in the winter! (Read more about dad's cats in the book I wrote in his memory, My Funny Dad, Harry, available on http://www.bn.com/ and http://www.amazon.com/):

Razzle Dazzle a/k/a Razzle Frazzle (right) was a very big and bushy cat. I think in may have been a Maine Coon. It's tail was huge. He was the dominant cat of the neighborhood for the most part. He was leary of people and it took a long time for him to trust me, but he finally got to the place where he even let me pet him! He'd let me pet him while he ate, but then would run away as soon as he was finished. My dad tried getting him to come in the house but this cat wanted no part of that! Once he did go in, but ran back out right away and that was as close as he got to being an inside cat.

Bootsie (top) was the first cat my dad took in because he noticed it was sick and although my mom didn't want any cats in the house, she relented and allowed my dad to bring Bootsie into the hallway. This was my first experience with a sick cat. My dad took it to a vet and got some pills that he was supposed to get the cat to take orally which didn't work! Bootsie was nice cat who liked being pet.

Blackie (bottom above) was my dad's very good companion. It would follow him around and watch him whenever he was working in the yard. Once my mom died, Blackie then became his first indoor cat. It liked being pushed around on the wheel chair and rolling on the floor.

Another cat that came in shortly after Blackie was Diamond Jim (right). Both lived upstairs at first. Diamond Jim is the one with the white flea collar. He was another all black cat that was very laid back. I don't remember what happened to him, but he was a nice cat too.

On the right Blackie is sitting in the window looking out and her friend, Timi, is lying on the chair. I named Timi that because he was so timid, but eventually he did let me pet him. He was actually more petable than Blackie. Timi never got over his love for the outdoors though and would often sneak out and then come back in a day or two. When Timi caught a cold that wouldn't go away, my dad and I took him to the vet, but before we got in the building, he busted out of the carrier and ran away!

Here's a picture of my dad, Harrington ("Harry") Arlettaz with one of the strays he took in, Sweet Thing a/k/a Whacky. Sweet Thing was such a nice cat. It was a bit shy and didn't let just anybody pet him, but he let me pet him a lot. He also liked it when I brushed him. All I had to do was stand by the table with the brush and up he'd jump. He was friends with Softie (below right). They would both jump up on the kitchen counter and eat together every morning. Sweet Thing's favorite spot to lay was on top of an air conditioner which was still in a box in the middle of the dining room. My dad bought three at once because they were on sale but only got one installed. Both Sweet Thing and Softie lived in the upstairs of my dad's double house.

Softie was all black with big eyes. She loved to play with the feather on the string. Her fur was so smooth and soft that I named her Softie. She was a fairly small cat and very playful. Sometimes Sweet Thing would chase her but she didn't seem to mind. She liked looking out the front window.

Sylvester looks like a little bobcat. He had feline aids and had to be separate from the other cats so had a private bedroom upstairs with Sweet Thing and Softie. My dad replaced the wood in the bottom panel of the bedroom door with plexiglass so they could see each other and so we could see in to see where he was before opening the door. My dad put a chain lock on the door so it would open only so far so in the hot summer months, Sylvester's door could be open slightly to get air from a fan. The air conditioner in the dining room (one was installed in the window) worked very well. Sylvester was usually great with people. He had a bad case of ear mites at one time and scracthed his one ear so much that it bled. I finally convinced dad to take him to a vet and we got it cleared up with some medication. Sylvester would lay on my lap and loved to be pet. But sometimes he'd get out and he and Sweet Thing would have a big cat fight. Softie just went and hid while they went at it.


(left) Striper was a pretty cat and extremely friendly and loved to climb. He would climb on dad's back and dad would walk around with the cat hanging on. Dad let him come in the house, but the other cats were not happy about it so Striper pretty much camped out in the basement. He liked laying in the clothes chute and climbing on dad's workbench. He didn't mind all the junk and clutter at all. He loved the cat nip so much that one day he jumped up on the kitchen counter, opened up the cupboard and helped himself to the catnip dad had put away in there. When he got sick, (some kind of blood disease) he climbed up into the drop ceiling of the basement and we couldn't get him down until finally after several days he came down on his own and we took him to the vet, but it was too late. I'll always remember that day because it was on the fourth of July.

Shortly after Striper died and Timi ran away, there was a litter of four kittens born. They are all huddled together in my dad's front yard here in the corner by the porch. The black and white one on top is the one I took to live with me named Spunky Rooey, later Spunky Bookie and now Spunky Doodle. Here she weighed about 3 lbs. and now she weighs 13 lbs. and is 4 years old!

This poor calico was a mess, but oh, so friendly! It was just starved for attention and found my dad's house. It always wanted to come inside, but my dad was 89 and already had three cats to take care of that he could barely manage. I felt so sorry for this little one, but knew it would need medical attention and I couldn't take in another one either. It would come over in the morning when it saw me arrive at my dad's and then follow me part way to the bus stop. One day when my dad came out to feed the outdoor cats, Scruffy went right by the door waiting to go in. My dad used a cane and could not move fast. He knew Scruffy would run inside if he opened the door, so he waited on the porch for two hours until the cat left to go back inside. My dad was a very patient man!

Please know that there were many more cats who frequented the kitty motel, but these are the only ones I have pictures of. My dad was such a gentle, kind hearted man that he let his cats rule the house. Even when he had trouble walking because his legs were so weak, he'd still climb the stairs if he could and go outside, even in the winter, to feed his outdoor friends and give them water.