Sunday, December 2, 2012

Down in the Dumps Friday (UPDATED 12-3-12)

What is usually "happy Friday" turned into a bad Friday for me.  Someone hurt my feelings and I was in a stew about it all day which slowly turned into anger.  I couldn't get it off my mind all night and so Saturday morning, I decided to do something about it.  I wrote an email to the person who hurt my feelings but here is the key:  I did not send it.  By just writing down my thoughts, I was able to release the tension I was feeling so that was a good thing.  I certainly don't want to make things worse.  

Here's the best part though.  After drafting the email, I had my quiet time with the Lord and here is what I read from the The Power of a Positive Woman by Karol Ladd:
It's so easy to sweat the small stuff and groan over our immediate cares and concerns; but as we turn our sights heavenward, we gain a whole new perspective.  In this life we are going to have happy times and sad times.  But at all times, we can be positive, joyful women because we have our heavenly Father's assurance:  "It's better higher up."
Wow!  How timely! This helped me tremendously--it was exactly what I needed to hear.  I love that God is in control and helps me deal with anything that comes up.  Reading this just reminded me that in the big scheme of things, this is a small and probably a "moe hill" that I really don't want to turn into a "mountain."  When I reflect on the situation, what has really been hurt is primarily my pride.  I know men compartmentalize things all the time and wish I could do that.  But women, you know that we don't do that.  If something gets under our skin, it's there no matter where we are or what we are doing, right?  I determined not to let this incident ruin my whole weekend and quickly grabbed back my joy, turning the situation over to God.

I may or may not send the email on Monday.  I'll have to calmly assess the pros and cons and make sure I am not sending it just to make the other person feel bad but rather because I think it will help in some way.  I will also review it and make sure I didn't come across as whiny or disrespectful which would definitely just make things worse.  I already am inclined not to send it but rather just talk to the person face-to-face after praying for direction.      

Must Read for Any Woman!

The Power of a Positive Woman is such an encouragement packed full of interesting stories and great quotes.  I really can't say enough good things about it and will continue to write more blog posts sharing more from it in the upcoming weeks.  It is definitely one of my favorite all-time Christian non-fiction books.  I am actually keeping a notebook of the things I am underlining as I read--it's that good!

Are you ever down in the dumps?  How do you get out?

UPDATED 12/3/12: My meeting Monday morning went very well. In fact, it could not have gone any better and I am glad I did not send the email!

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mountain woman said...

Karen, I was betrayed this weekend by someone I thought was a good friend. Wow, did it hurt and I've been in a state all weekend until I read your FB post on joy and the beautiful Bible quote you shared. It helped so much and then I thought back over our friendship and how kind you've been to me and I realize that one bad apple and hurtful person does not define my life. I was able to let it go. So you see, this post and your post on FB helped me to let it all go. Thanks!

Mrs4444 said...

I really like the idea of that book. I think I'll buy it, read it, and then pass it on to a woman I know who would love it. Thanks, and good luck with this.

Mike Golch said...

sometimes you need to take a step back and Just Breathe.

Sandee said...

What Mike said, but sometimes it's very hard. I would have probably already said something, but that's just me. I'm glad you handled this better than I would.

Have a blessed Sunday. :)

Lin said...

Been there. I think we all have. I'm a good stewer....oh, gees...I will go on and on about it until I work it out for myself. Sometimes you gotta say something to the person...sometimes not. I guess what you have to weigh is what do you want from that person? If there is no reasonable outcome, there is no use saying anything.

I hope you have it all sorted out. I'm big for doing things face to face...never email. I think you need tone and inflection on delicate conversations and email/texts never convey that and things can go from bad to worse. Also, they can be shared with other people who will chime in and put a spin on things---and it may not be the way you want.

I'd say ditch the email and do it face to face if you are going to deal with it at all.

Sending a giant hug to you! I know sometimes we just need that to make it better. :) I hope tomorrow is a better day.

BeadedTail said...

I'm sorry that someone hurt your feelings but I have been in that situation too. I tend to stew about things too and often later realize that the other person hasn't given it another thought while I spent so much time letting it bring me down. Some people just don't know how much they hurt others. Anyway, I hope it all turns out okay!

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Mountain Woman: So glad my posts helped you. I consider you a good friend even though we've never met face to face and just know, if I ever hurt you in any way, that it certainly was unintentional.

Mrs 4444: I KNOW you would enjoy this book. It's the one we are reading together for my Women of Wonder group that meets once a month at church. It is so good, I'm going to actually read it again!

Mike: You are right about this. In that respect, it was good this happened on Friday so I had some space away from the person.

Sandee: I probably would have too, but I pray that God would help me put into practice the verse in James 1:19 every day that says let every man (woman included) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. It helps.

Lin: You make a good point. I have decided NOT to send that email and just talk to him. At this point, I guess what I want from him is to just realize that he did hurt my feelings and would like for him to show me some respect. I really felt disrespected. (I'm sure he hasn't given it a second thought). Thanks for the hug, I needed it!

Beaded Tail: You are so right! I'm sure he hasn't given it a second thought and is oblivious to how his actions affected me. He has to have a clue though because I did tell him Friday that I wanted to discuss this with him. His reaction was surprise so I'm sure he didn't realize that he hurt my feelings by what he did. What's done is done and the "ball is in my court." I just really need to be careful how I respond to him so I don't make things worse.

Barbara Miller said...

Hi - Beth Ann from "It's Just Life" shared with me the Comments for a Cause practice she has, as inspired by you. I'm joining the ranks so please add my blog to your list of blogs that Comment for a Cause. Thanks! Barbara Miller at:

Rebecca @ FreakyFrugalite said...

I tried to leave a comment yesterday but Blogger doesn't seem to like mobile phones and it ate my comment! :(

Anyway, that is TERRIFIC about the encouraging word God gave you. I absolutely love it when He does that. Our service Sunday was about forgiveness, and someone else tweeted about the topic, too. I think God is trying to get a message across to His Church, eh?

I pray God gives you wisdom and the ability to show this person God's love when you talk to them.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

Thanks for all your advice and prayers. My meeting went very well, in fact, it could not have gone any better! I am very glad I did not fire off that email!

Barbara, I will add your link to the comment for charity blogs.

Mrs4444 said...

Hi again, Karen. I want to buy the book, but all I can find is the blue-covered version. Any suggestions?

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