Sunday, October 4, 2009

Need a Laugh? Read These Church Bulletin Bloopers

I thought it's time for some humor and these cracked me up. I got them in an email from the lady I teach with in Sunday School. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins--not our church though:

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

3. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

4. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

5. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

7. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

8. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

9. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

10. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

11. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

12. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

13. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

14. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

15. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

16. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

17. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

18. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did! It's good to laugh! I think my favorites are #12 and #18, what's yours?

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The Author said...

I thought all of them were so funny. I don't think I could pick a favorite. I always enjoy waking up and reading something humorous. Helps the day to go well. Thanks Karen.

Gretchen said...

That made me laugh. My favorites are 2 and 16. I'm new to your blog and love it, especially the cats! I'm a follower now. I found you from SITS site. Have a great day! ~gretchen

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

Mountain Woman: Glad you found them funny and it brightened your day!

Gretchen: Glad I could make you laugh! Be sure to check out my cats' blog at (They do a very good job with it, my dog has one too over there).

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